Choosing Self-help Gurus and Spiritual Teachers: What You Don’t Know Might Hurt You

Dr. Jonathan Ellerby has a PhD in Comparative Religion and has personally studied numerous spiritual practices around the world for over 20 years. Blending extensive periods of mentoring with academic, research, and professional experience Jonathan brings a rare perspective and credibility to the world of self-help and spirituality. He is the author of Return to the Sacred; Your Spiritual Personality; and works as the Spiritual Program Director for the highly acclaimed Canyon Ranch Health Resorts. www.returntothesacred.com

Finding A “Real” Spiritual Teacher

In the not too distant past, spiritual teachers weren’t hard to find, nor were they hard to identify. This is because not too long ago most spiritual teachers were embedded in traditions of culture and religion that had clearly marked groups, titles and ranks for people who you could go to for mentoring, healing or spiritual counsel. These groups were also like professional associations; qualifications had to be maintained and people could be “kicked out” if they behaved badly or didn’t follow the guidelines set out. Each teacher understood that both their selfless service of the community and respect for their Elders and mentors were linked to their credibility and accountability.

There was almost always an implicit or explicit hierarchy in spiritual traditions that was intended to guide, prepare and identify the stages of development a teacher or healer had reached. Even among oral traditions spiritual and healing societies and groups were common, and a person could not simply appoint themselves as a healer. Community initiation and recognition was key. Titles were earned over time and with hard work. Too often the self-help community and modern spiritual teachers and healers of today operate outside the boundaries of such traditional cultures or groups and so are very difficult to assess.

Making It Up As We Go

Nowhere have the “rules” of spiritual training and credentials changed more than in modern North America. This is the land where a successful business man can change into a spiritual guru with little more than a rebranding of his press kit, website and new book titles. Too often we see people who attend a workshop once and then turn around and teach the same workshop just a few weeks later to paying customers. Because everything is available by internet or book store, intellectual property is easily “repurposed” and sold for personal gain. Rather than “earning” the right to teach, people simply need to create opportunities. Sadly, there is no restriction on people turning a brief and meaningful encounter of another culture into a personal gimmick or product. Ancient spiritual practices from Native America, Eastern, and other cultures are frequently being taught by people with little in depth training or experience. Interfaith and cross-cultural teachers and programs are not “wrong” or “bad” – their value always depends on the level of respectful, credibility, permission and training involved.

What To Look For In A Credible Teacher

If you are thinking of getting deeply involved in the workshops or programs of a self-help “guru” be sure to ask these following questions and make sure you get affirmative answers you are satisfied with. Remember, training doesn’t have to be conventional to be good, but there should be a clear path of preparation you can identify.

1. Do they have a mentor or mentors in a recognized tradition or community that trained and prepared them for their work?
2. Will they openly share their history of training and study with specific details?
3. Are they a part of or endorsed by a community that you consider credible and recognizes their work and stands behind their reputation. This should not be their own organization (it could be a larger group such as a hospital, a university, a resort, a religious community, a training association, a professional association).
4. Do they demonstrate the 4H's of a good spiritual teacher? Honesty, Humility, Heart-centeredness, Humor.

The Up Side and the Down Side of Self-Appointed Teachers

The upside of the departure from highly regulated spiritual associations, is that we must recognize that religious and spiritual communities make mistakes and don’t always embrace the right people or train them well. Many of the world’s spiritual masters were renegades in their time. Not all wise people have degrees or formal training, and not all forms of training produce quality teachers. The down side is that self-proclaimed “gurus”, half-baked spiritual leaders, and self-help teachers with little more to offer than charisma and common sense can become responsible for the health, wealth and life choices of others - with potentially disastrous consequences.

Western associations and schools are not the only way to gain experience and valid experience and credentials. But no matter what we may want to believe about a self-help leader, training matters, extensive years of experience and study do make a difference - deep personal healing and wellness matter, mentorship and some kind of recognition and designation matter!

Beware of the Bright Lights!

Too many of us have come to judge our spiritual teachers and self-help experts by what TV shows they appear on, how many books they have sold and how nice their website is. These bright lights mean very little when it comes to taking a deeper step with a teacher. If a person is great on TV or sells a lot of books, it just means they are great on TV and have a good publicist (or maybe they actually wrote a great book), it doesn’t mean anything more. Learn to look deeper, ask more questions, expect more from all the people who claim to be “gurus”, guides or spiritual leaders. Sometimes the trick lies in knowing a person’s limits: which settings they are best suited to and which they should not be a part of. If you have been caught up in the pursuit of a teacher and are having doubt, take a step back and look for the warning signs.

Five Warning Signs

If at any point you can say yes to any or all of these five things, be very careful (or run for your life!)

• You feel that your or other people's sense of integrity is being violated.
• You feel the financial cost exceeds the value offered.
• You feel more dependent than empowered.
• You see behavior that you'd otherwise consider abuse if it happened elsewhere (sexual, emotional, physical, etc.)
• You feel the teacher or program has become more important than the goal of growth, personal awakening or your own direct connection to a Higher Power.